June 28th, 2004
|padfooturban||06:45 pm - Padfoot Prohibited|
Here it is Wormy....
|PG-13 - English - Humor/General - Reviews: 131 - Published: 04-19-04 - Updated: 06-28-04 |
If I get sued it's your fault.
Current Mood: cranky
Current Music: The "Pump,PumpPump,Pump,Pump" song from the commercial
Chapter 5 - Badgering Bellatrix
"Why you snotty little bitch! How many times have I told you, Ashe, that mouth of yours is going to get you in trouble one of these days?" whined Bellatrix.
"About the same number of times as I've told you have the face of a saint..."
Bellatrix stared at her in confusion, and then looked at her Slytherin entourage for an explanation.
"...A saint bernard," Raven finished. The brunette burst into laughter and Raven smiled sweetly at Bellatrix.
Bella practically growled at her. "You know, Raven, it isn't easy to keep your mouth and your mind open at the same time!"
Raven rolled her eyes and took a step closer to Bellatrix. "Black, my friend, I appreciate the wit, but from trash like you I take no shit. C'mon, Jordan." She nudged past her and retreated into the castle, with the brunette following her.
Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter turned and exchanged glances. Sirius watched Raven's long black hair blow over her shoulder as she approached the castle.
"Who was that?" he asked dreamily.
Since James and Peter shrugged, Sirius turned to Remus. "Raven Ashe," he responded. "She's a fifth year."
"You know her?" Sirius asked.
"Met her in our third year. She's nice."
"She's hot, and she hates my cousin!" blurted Sirius. "She's a Gryffindor! How come I've never seen her before?"
Remus shrugged. "She kinda keeps to herself, I guess."
"Must be why Bella takes every chance she can get," said James.
"Hey, Moon-pie, wanna fix me up with her?" pleaded Sirius, raising his eyebrows twice.
Re: Chapter 5 - Badgering Bellatrix
"Not at chance, Sirius."
"Why not? You like her or somethin?" Sirius narrowed his eyes on Remus.
"Well, no. I just think she's too nice of a girl to get mixed up with you...especially when you only want one thing."
"Where do you get that impression? She wasn't very nice to my cousin just now!"
"Are you complaining?" asked Remus.
"No, not at all. Anyone who hates Bella as much as I do should be congratulated! Yes, I must find her right now and...congratulate her!" He tugged on Remus' arm. "C'mon."
Remus rolled his eyes and unhooked his arm from Sirius'. "Find her by yourself."
"Remus Lupin, you're my best friend and you're not even going to be my wing man? Why would you deliberately do such a thing?"
"Because I'm smart," teased Remus.
Sirius grinned and put his arm around Remus. "Moony, Moony, Moony, how many times do I hafta tell you this? Just because you're smart doesn't mean you can't act stupid! Look at me!"
"Yep, you sure do act stupid, Padfoot," Remus said.
"You see? I pretend to be stupid! But I'm really smart as a tack!" explained Sirius.
Peter turned to James with a bewildered look. "Smart as a tack?"
"I think he means sharp as a tack," corrected James.
Sirius gave up trying to explain his brilliance when he saw Bellatrix walking past them again. "Well if it isn't my favorite little cousin," he called to her.
Bellatrix whipped around and gave Sirius an icy stare. "Well if it isn't the blood-traitor runaway," she replied, giving him a fake smile.
"And proud of it," he shot back at her. "How are dear old mum and dad?"
Bellatrix scoffed. "Happier than they've ever been."
Sirius' nostrils flared, but he continued, "Glad to hear it. That was a very enteraining performance you just gave."
Remus and Peter snickered and James began to clap. "Brilliant," he agreed.
"Shut up!" she growled.
"Shut up...Shut up?" asked Sirius.
He turned to look at his best friends and they all chanted together, "I don't shut up, I grow up. And when I look at you, I throw up!" The four of them made gagging and puking noises as Bella scoffed again, threw her hair over her shoulder, and marched up to the school.
"God, she's almost as much fun as Regulus," chuckled Sirius. "C'mon, let's sit, I gotta add some new items to my list."
The four of them sat in a circle next to the lake.
"James, where's Lil?" asked Sirius as he scribbled an item onto his parchment.
"She said I was distracting her from studying," he grinned.
"Ah," said Sirius. "Okay, done for the day." He held up the parchment in front of his face so the guys could read his additions.
21 - Not allowed to magically wash the hair of hygienically challenged students, even if they are greasy, slimy gits (coughSnivelluscough) and even if I am doing it "for the greater good of the student body."
22 - Not allowed to bribe Hogwarts kitchen house elves into sending the Slytherin table rotten food.
23 - (Next day) Not allowed to bribe Hogwarts kitchen house elves into sending the Slytherin table no food at all.
24 - Not allowed to host an "Inter-house Challenge Slip 'N' Slide Tournament" using the house tables and 147 buckets of water in the Great Hall.